Living on the edge part 2

Do not try this at home.

Tjockis Olsson in loving memory.

This is the story of Tjockis Olsson.
Our beloved cat who passed away too soon.

Tjockis first came into our lives long before the kids were born.
We were living in a collective house and a girl who we shared an apartment with got Tjockis from an animal shelter.
At the shelter they really wanted to get rid of here.
Claimed she could't be in the same room as other cats, so she was hogging too much space.

Tjockis went by the name Tiffy, and was proud to be 1/4 of persian cat.
We changed her name as soon as we came up with a new one.
No cat of mine will go by the name Tiffy.
A friend of mine gave us the suggestion Tjockis Olsson, it means Fatso Olsson, which is what my friend's gymteacher called her in school.
My friend was very skinny.
But our cat had that little hanging belly that castrated female cats sometimes have so the name fit her perfectly.
There have been verions of it throughout the years.
Tjockis.
Olsson.
Tjocka.
Tjockapocka.
Puupää. (Means woodhead in finnish)
Gammeltanten.

The first few weeks she was incredibly shy and unsocial.
Spent most of her time underneath the sofa.

But then step by step, she started hanging out around the apartment.
Pretty soon we realized that she liked my room the best and we put her food and water in there.
My roommate at the time wanted to return Tjockis to the shelter, because of her "strange personality".
I would not listen to such nonsense and said, then i'll keep her.
I'm sure she was jealous cause Tjockis wanted to be in my room not hers.
Slowly Tjockis started to become friendly.
At first she slept next to my bed.
Then in my bed, by my feet.
Then right next to me by my face wanted to have her belly rubbed before going to sleep.

From the start it was obvious that Tjockis didn't like men all that much.
She never slept on Jani's side of the bed.
Tjockis had a huge personality, the way only cats can.
She didn't say meow, she sounded more like a sheep.
She knew what she wanted and made sure that she got it.
For example it happened that she wanted to have company when eating so she forced me to stand by her foodbowl when she ate.
This sometimes happened in the middle of the night.

After a while we decided to get Tjockis some company.
Well actually a bunch of kittens were found in a box in our apartmentbuilding and we decided to keep one of them.
The new cat wanted to be Tjockis friend.
Tjockis felt she didn't need friends.
So she started pooping outside of the litterbox.
Just to show mommy and daddy that this having another cat besides her wasn't the best of ideas.

She was an indoor cat for most of her life.
Didn't keep her from hunting though.
Once she was on the balcony and a bird crashed into the window.
Tjockis moved fast.
Might have been the only time she moved fast.
Have never seen a prouder cat in my life.

Tjockis wasn't so good at playing.
When she did she looked a little embarrased and confused.
Like she didn't know what she was doing or why.
She didn't like toys on a string.
She liked the string.
She didn't like to play with our other cat.
She didn't like to play with our kids either.
She mostly liked to chill.
Which is what she did 24 hours a day.
Not so good for her digestion, but what can you do.

Tjockis always knew what was best for her.
She knew when something was done for her own good.
Therefor she never complained at the vet.
Even when the vet put a needle into an infected dogbite.
Tjockis didn't make a sound.
Or when we had to give her medicine.
We could just put it in her mouth.
Or when she had to be in the car.
We could just put her in her cage and she went to sleep.
Even when the carride was from Sweden all the way to Finland.
Or when getting her fur combed, eventhough I pulled it pretty hard.
She liked the attention I guess.

When we lived on a farm she got to be outside for a year or so.
Didn't work out too well.
She got bitten by the neighbour dog.
Twice.
Tjockis was never know for her speed.
And the dog figured since he had managed to get her once, he might as well try again.
The last time it resulted in a dislocated hip, surgery and a big bill for the neighbours.

She also got lost one time.
Was gone for 12 days.
It was very tough on all of us.
I cried and cried and searched for her everywhere.
It was almost unbearable not to know where she was, if she was hurt and starving.
Then one day she just walked through the door like nothing happened.
Cats can be that way.
Since that her intestines didn't funtion all that well.
We had to feed her expensive veterinary food and for the last 6 months or so we also had to give her medicine everyday.
Unfortantely even that didn't help.

A few days ago she got very sick.
Then after a whole day of vomiting and bloody dhiarrea she sort of gave up.
At first she slept in the shower.
Not very normal for a cat.
We treated her best we could, but we she did nothing but hide under our bed completely exhausted.
We realized it was time to let go.
Told Vera that Tjockis had to move to the hospital and stay there.
Will she have dolls and a stroller there, Vera wanted to know.
Yes, I said, she'll have everything she wants.

I took her to the vet and she died in my arms.
She was calm the whole time, she just fell asleep there.
It was a good way to go.

I feel like she got to have a good life.
At least the 7 years she lived with us.
Not all that many cats have their own passport.
Not all that many cats have travelled on the Finlandferry, and lived in two different countries.
Not all that many cats have been this loved.

But we miss her.
Miss her taking up space in the bed.
Refusing to move an inch, even when being pushed.
Miss her purring when being rubbed on the belly.
The little sound she made when I stopped, and the little shove she gave me to show me I had to keep rubbing.
Miss her claws tapping on the floor.
Miss her sounding like a sheep.
Even at four in the morning.

15 år.

Detta är Vera och Arons mormor.
För femton år sedan idag dog hon i bröstcancer.
Det känns ofattbart hur fort tiden går.
Minnet av henne förändras med åren.
För er som inte fick möjligheten att träffa henne.
Och för er som saknar henne lika mycket som jag.
Detta är en del av mina minnen.

Min mamma hade alltid torra händer.
Hon var veterinär.
Hon hade en handkräm som jag inte minns namnet på men vars doft kittlar mina näsborrar när jag tänker på den.

Min mamma färgade håret, rödbrunt.
När hon tappade håret och nytt växte ut var det grått.
Vet inte ens hur hennes riktiga hår såg ut innan dess.

Min mamma var klistret som höll ihop min släkt.
Man förstod inte vidden av det förrän efteråt.
När släkten inte längre hålls ihop.

Hela grannskapet kände hon.
Bakade julgodis med grannarna.
Delade ut julgrupper till alla.
Till och med brevbäraren.

Min mamma fotograferade allt.
Framkallade och klistrade in i fyra olika fotoalbum.
Delade ut foton till alla släktingar.
Varje år tog hon julkort på barnen och något eller några av husdjuren.
Där vi poserade fint.
Efter otaliga försök fanns det oftast något som var lyckat.
När vi kom upp i tonåren var det inte så roligt längre.

Min mamma var konsekvent.
Varje fredag fick vi "salt".
Det bestod av chips, popcorn och jordnötter.
Varje lördag lördagsgodis.

Min mamma var en oerhört engagerad föräldrer.
Skjutsade, hämtade, uppmuntrade, stöttade.
Gick på föräldramöten, ordnade skolfester i våran trädgård, skötte avtackning av lärare.
Läste sagor, hjälpte med läxor.
Pratade.
Lyssnade.

Min mamma älskade att simma.
Hon simmade överallt där möjligheten fanns.
Hon tog med oss till simskolan och kämpade med oss tills vi alla hade tagit alla märken som fanns.

Min mamma var ingen hejare på att laga mat.
Men maten var alltid nyttig och hemlagad.
Göra smulpaj kunde hon.
Varje gång gjorde hon tre små klumpar av deg som hon la på den höga fönsterbrädan i köket för oss barn att äta upp.
Varför fönsterbrädan.
Annars skulle katterna kunna tagit dom.

Min mamma hade kanske inte speciellt gröna fingrar.
Men varje år odlade vi grönsaker.
I varsitt liten trädgårdsland.
Och hon saftade och syltade.
Rosa äppelmos.
Grön tomatmarmelad.

Min mamma hade koll på allt.
Planerade och organiserade.
På små gula klisterlappar.
Allt från skolavslutningar, barnkalas, högtider, och semestrar.
Till sin egen begravning.

Min mamma gjorde en gång kejsarsnitt på en katt.
På köksbordet.
Åt en familj som inte hade råd att åka till djursjukhuset.
Vi barn fick massera liv i dom små kattungarna.
Blodigt och lite äckligt var det.
Men helt fantastiskt.

Min mamma läste.
Mer än någon annan jag känner.
Låg på rygg i sin säng, men benen uppdragna och en katt på fötterna.
När hon var sjuk och inte längre kunde jobba släpade hon hem kassar med böcker från biblioteket.
När hon inte orkade läsa längre lyssnade hon på ljudböcker.

Min mamma hade ett nattlinne på slutet.
Det var lila med en segelbåt på.
Det var urtvättat och sammetslent.
Det luktade så gott när man kramade henne godnatt.
Lukten satt kvar länge.

Min mamma hade dåliga sidor, som alla andra.
Dom väljer jag att inte minnas idag.

Min mamma hade varit en otrolig mormor och farmor.
Hon hade läst, stickat, bakat, pysslat, sytt, pratat, och älskat.
Över allt annat hade hon älskat sina barnbarn.

Där satt den...

...skrutten alltså.
Nu kan han sitta själv.
Landar oftare på rumpan.
Mer sällan på huvudet.

Väldigt skönt.
Och lite fantastiskt.
Det finns något speciellt med en tjock liten skrutt som kan sitta själv.
Så liten men ändå så stor.

Magen blir så rund och go, till och med på Vera.

Det blir så befriande att ha båda händerna fria.
Att kunna hålla ordentligt i leksakerna.
Att kunna klappa.
Och kanske vinka lite grann.

Den var inte vacker...

...Men ack så uppskattad.

Den lilla snögubben som mamman lyckades få till.
Även snön var uppskattad.
Blöt och vit och alldeles ny.

Även pappan fick till en gubbe.
Stor och fin och full med löv.
Vakade den över oss.

Tills den föll ihop.
Kunde den inte stannat en stund till.
Gubben.
Snön.

Tomt...

Så här kan det gå.
När sömnen uteblir.
Då växer ett munsår till oändlighet.

Mammans sömn har inte velat infinna sig.
Huvudet fullt.
Och tomt.
Och fullt av tomt.
Vi vill till hus.

Mamman bestämde sig en dag.
För att det bästa alternativet skulle vara att bygga nytt.
Det billigaste i längden.
Den tryggaste investeringen.

Men pengarna finns inte.
Inte nu och inte sen.
Frågan blir då hur.
Hur kan man bygga ett nytt hus för max 1,5 miljoner.
Men max menas att allt skall vara klart när summan är nådd.
Kanske inte hela trädgården.

Räkna. Räkna. Räkna.
Research.
Funderingar.
Leta.
Då blir det inte så mycket sömn.
Desto mer munsår.

Vi hittade en tomt.
I det för oss perfekta området.
Gångavstånd till bussen.
25 km från Jyväskylä.
2 km från en by, med dagis, skola, affär, etc.
Grannar runt omkring men ändå mitt i skogen.
Stora billiga tomter.

Så här såg den finaste tomten ut.

3300 kvm.
90 000 kr.
Sen visade det sig att man måste spränga för att kunna bygga.
Grannen hade fått betala 200 000 innan grunden ens kunde påbörjas.
Där sprack vår budget.
Och våran dröm.
Fanns inga andra tomter kvar där.
Bara en.
Den är full med vatten.
Blir också dyrt att åtgärda.

Suck.
Munsåret försvinner sakta.
Drömmarna består.

Living on the edge...

Livet blir lite mer spännande.
När man utmanar sig själv.
Aron kan inte riktigt stå ännu.
Men han övar.
Hela tiden.
Han vill så gärna se vad som finns på ställen han annars inte når.
Drar sig upp överallt.
Leker glatt med Veras leksaker.
Han provar om det går att göra andra saker samtidigt.


Om han kan göra det med en hand.


Klättrar överallt.
Med huvudet före.

Det händer att han ramlar.
Det händer att han slår sig.
Det händer ca 100 gånger om dan.

Han faller ibland handlöst bakåt.
Eller framåt.
Eller åt sidan.
Men bara en gång har han landat på ögat.

Då tyckte mamman och pappan att det fick vara nog.
Och skaffade en hjälm.

Den har han nu på sig varje vaken stund.
Det händer att han ramlar.
Men nu landar han i alla fall mjukt.

Brrrr...

Vintern är här...


Detta är man inte riktigt van vid.
Att det är vinter nu.
Innan mitten av oktober.
Vinterdäcken är på.
Ner i källaren och leta vinterjackor, vantar.


På med lager efter lager.
Visste inte mycket om det innan vi flyttade hit.
Visste inte ens att det fanns så många overaller.
Tidig höstoveraller.
För den där regniga kalla perioden.
Tjocka höstoveraller.
För den där torra ännu kallare perioden.
Vinteroveraller.
För minusgraderna.
Ylleoveraller att ha under vinteroverallerna.
När det är kallt, riktigt kallt.
Minus tjugo.


Än är det bara förvinter.
Minusgrader men inte så kallt.
Det gör inte så mycket.
Bara det inte regnar.

What happened? Part 2

All of a sudden.
He gaves this up.
Decided he wanted to eat by himself.
Literally.
Pureed foods can be eaten with little hands.
But mom and dad help with what doesn't make it to the mouth.
Guess he figured since he'd gotten a tooth he might as well start chewing.

And if you're old enough to get a tooth.
You're old enough to say mamamama.
Then he figured.
Hey, I can talk, I can eat by myself, why don't I start exploring the world.


From crawling slowly to crawling fast.
From crawling far to crawling high.
He actually made it all the way up the stairs.
Good thing we don't have stairs at home.


What happened.
Really.
Didn't he just come out.
Of the womb.
It's only been 7 months.

So much has happened in a couple of weeks.
He's learning things every day.
Huge things.
Lifechanging things.
What has mommy learned lately.
To say monkeywrench in finnish.
Jakoavain.

He copies Veras every move.
Gets up on his knees and looks at what she's doing.
If she dances or jumps.
He starts doing the same.
In his own special way.
He's like a minichild.
When he's done eating and is down on the floor, he crawls in to their room and starts playing.
By himself.
Kind of like a teenager.
Only comes out to eat.

But some of the scills he believes himself to have.
He doesn't quite manage.
He thinks he can stand up.
It happens that he falls down.
A lot.

But dad says that life serves a risktaker.

What happened? Part 1

All of a sudden.
She's so big.
As in age. Not in size.
All of a sudden.
She dares to sleep away from home.

Not so far away though.
Grandma's house.
But still.

I have to admit that mommy was a little nervous.
Really didn't want to get up in the middle of the night with the other one and bring her home.
Still at home she said she wanted to sleep with mom and dad.
But once there.
At grandma's.
Realizing the amounts of toys and joys ahead.
She wanted to stay.
Not a doubt in her mind.

Nervously mommy waited.
Grandma called.
She was asleep.
And she kept sleeping all night long.
Daddy came to pick her up the next day.
Turns out she didn't want to come home.
So she stayed another night.
She didn't want to go home the day after that either.
But we forced her.

Guess she didn't miss us at all.
Maybe.
Because at grandma's you can do almost whatever you want.

Grandma gives you undivided attention.
All day long.
Grandma brings new toys.
And plays all the games you want.
Grandma has icecream for breakfast.
Who can compete with that.

Aron finds out who's the boss...

Mommy says no.
Mommy says that he's not allowed to eat the chair...